Almost every one of us would have said or heard this phrase “I am
Sorry” at least for once in our Life. Nowadays, how often it has been used? How
effective it is? Does the Person who asks it really means so? Does the Person
who listens values it? Is it necessary to say sorry, when you are actually not?
Do you forgive someone for their mistakes, when they say, they are sorry?
I guess these many questions are more than enough to make next few
minutes of our time interesting to take our perception level to next
dimensions. Let us go through an intense conversation between two People. They
can be Friends, Brothers, Sisters, relatives, colleagues, couples or any two
who has some kind of relation between them.
A: I am sorry. Please Talk to me.
B: I don’t want to talk to you.
A: I know, you are very angry, Please Listen to me.
B: I don’t want to, why are you forcing me?
A: Why can’t we talk normal again?
B: Who the hell are you to decide? It’s my life, I will decide
whether to talk or not.
A: I am extremely sorry, Please give me one more chance.
B: You are no one to me, Get the Hell out of my Life.
A: I accept my mistake, I did wrong to you. It was my bad.
B: You are sick and pathetic, I can’t change my opinion.
A: You can scold me for what I did, I might deserve that.
B: Don’t you have self Respect? It is never going to be normal
again and I can’t pretend to be.
A: What do you want me to do?
B: I don’t want anything from you; I want to stay away from you.
A: Please forgive me.
B: I can’t forgive what you have done.
A: I can’t undo what I have done; I will promise that I will not
repeat again.
B: I can’t trust you anymore.
A: I didn’t have any wrong intentions.
B: If you don’t have any wrong intentions, stay away from me.
A: I am afraid I can’t Trust myself anymore and may not be able to
forgive myself.
B: I can’t be normal with you again, But, I don’t want to spoil
your image in front of others, I will try to behave normal in front of others.
I know, this is little too much of intense conversation. While reading,
if any of you have pictured yourself in one of the characters, I am sure you
are looking for some kind of support for your actions. Well, I don’t know who
is right? Or who is wrong?
From the conversation, most of us can make out, Our Friend A is
trying very hard to keep the relationship alive and desperate for forgiveness. And
Our Friend B is too much upset and disappointed with A’s mistakes and not
willing to have any kind of relationship.
There are no bad people, only wrong decisions during certain
circumstances make them do bad actions. We just need to learn to handle those
critical situations in Life to avoid most of the actions which leads to
negative results. It doesn’t means mistakes will never happen, Mistakes do
happen, but we need to make sure we are not repeating the same mistakes again
and again. To avoid repeating the mistakes, it is necessary to realize that
mistake has been done and learn from it and rectify it. This is very general
way and applies when you are dealing with some kind of experiment doing
independently, even after making mistakes, learn from it, don’t give up, have a
hope and retry in a different approach till you get the desired result, Since
we have gone through a kind of apology/forgiveness in relationship, which
involves two different Human beings not the things whose thoughts are
completely individual to each other.
How do we deal with this?
Even though it's a matter between two different individuals,
Success of Relationship is also based on few basic principles. Success is a
Journey not the destination, so do the Relationship. It is not about winning or
losing. It is more of pursuing. AS our Friend A was trying hard to maintain the
Relationship and Friend B was afraid of trusting B again. If you have
empathized it with any of the characters as either ‘A’ or ‘B’.
As ‘A’ you should find out what exactly you are expecting from B
and How much you are ready to give for that and Is it really worth all the
efforts you are going to put in? If you are clear with your intentions, do not
make any wrong moves, Have Hope and wait with
patience to show you deserve to have one more chance. Before that
forgive yourself, because you have realized what is your mistake and ready to
correct yourself, Now is the time to prove it in action. Don’t try to force
yourself into B’s space Focus on implementing your learning in all other
Relationships you have. You may or may not get back into normal relationship
with B again, But you will never lose any other Relationship again. If you are
really sorry, Respect B’s feelings and Decision and give the freedom to B to
decide whether B wants to give one more chance to the Relationship or not?
As ‘B’ you should figure out, you want to end the Relationship
right away forever or just want to wait whether A is going to take any wrong
decision again? If you want to End the Relationship, Don’t wait or hide. You
don’t want it means you don’t. why to think of other people, instead of
pretending normal in front of others. End the Relationship openly in front of
all. If you want to wait and see, that means you have already forgiven A, you
just need a proof that this time you are not going to be hurt again. Forgiving
takes out biggest burden on your shoulders.
We all know, every relationship is important and valuable. It takes
years to build and maintain. Sometimes few mistakes can easily break any
relationship. If the relationship is so weak, it wouldn’t have deserved this
much of discussion. If it is based on Truth and Honesty, It will sustain no
matter How worse the fights are?
If you say “I am Sorry” again mean it so truly that you never need
to say it again. If you forgive someone even after the biggest mistakes, make
sure, you never lose that Relationship.
