You need to have Memory before you can Forget

Most of the times, we will forget what we are suppose to remember and we won't forget what we are suppose to forget. There is a saying that "Forgetting things is a boon to people, so that people can forget all the bad memories and move on with the Life" When we forget things which we are suppose to remember, we feel bad that our memory is not strong enough and wonder how did we forget such a small thing. When we cannot forget something which is bothering, we feel bad that why our memory is so strong and worry why can't we forget?

Now the question is How to avoid forgetting things which we are suppose to remember? and How to forget things which are troubling us? 

First of all, we are clear what not to forget? like buying few things to home, paying the bills before last date, clearing the debts in time, filling the fuel to the vehicle before it stops in the middle of the street, completing the assignment, most importantly working towards our dream/goal/success. Everyone one of us have dreams and the ability to achieve it, but we forget to remind ourselves that we need to work towards it to accomplish.

We are also clear what to forget? like bad incidents, fights, failures, Relationship issues, Anger, Revenge, Fear. Everyone of us deserves a happy life to enjoy the present moment by forgetting past sorrows, but we keep reminding ourselves about those incidents.

Rather than finding out How? to overcome? If we are able to answer why? we can find out How? very easily. This is the common principle works everywhere, but we forget to apply. Lets make use of this without forgetting.

Lets find out why not to forget few things? 

because if we forget,

1. It will cost us.

2. It might hurt someone.

3. It lead us to do double work.

4. It adds up unnecessary pressure.

5. It will affect our regular routine.

so, it is important to remember.

Lets find out why to forget few things?

because

1. we cannot live in present.

2. we cannot focus on work.

3. we cannot enjoy current happiness.

4. we cannot give time to others and ourselves as well.

5. we won't move forward in Life.

so, it is important to forget those which stops us from growing.

Before forgetting something, we should have some memory about it to forget right? How can we store something into our memory? By providing input to our mind regarding something. The problem in things which we forget, we don't feed those inputs into our memory, because of the least priority or still there is no deadline. It just takes a couple of thoughts to feed into our memory. But we won''t do that, instead we just sense that something has to be done. something like a video camera running without memory card inside to store. 

If we just follow a simple two step procedure 

1. Give attention to detail

2. provide the input to mind, just by thinking once what has to be done.

in everything we do, we will get impressed by ourselves in no time.

A simple example will be How many times we forget the names of the new people we meet?

If we just give our attention, while they are telling their name and recalling their name and thinking about it, we won't forget their name at least for few weeks.

How to forget? is more complex than how to remember? Because the things which we are suppose to forget are nothing but the memories which are repetitively occurred and reinforced over time and again. These memories are something stored in hundreds of memory card with multiple backups. Now we erase one memory block, there exists a backup of it. Our mind has an infinite memory space with an enable option to activate those. Our mind doesn't forget things so easily, it is very complex and time consuming, but we can deactivate those memories by putting a wall around it. That means, we don't forget completely, its just we do not recall it. Remembering to forget something will actually create a backup of the memory one more time that we have to forget that. Instead if we don't force ourselves in forgetting and redo the different things in the same space, there are more chances of overriding the memories which we want to forget.

A simple example will be the school life or college life, we would have gone to school/college everyday and interact with same set of people repetitively that would have created huge set of backups. But when we replace our school life with college life and college with work life, we will be doing the different set of activities daily repetitively i.e. in the same space. which slowly builds a wall over old set of memories and create a new set of memories. This leads us to forget the things smoothly and live in the present.

"No need to forget old memories irrespective of whether its good or bad, instead create a new set of memories with time; which gives us enough option to choose the memories which makes us happy any time"

~ANIL K N

Forgiveness

Do you have the question that How can I forgive someone, who has done so much wrong with me?

Will you forgive someone, who had hurt you?

Can you  forgive someone, even when they haven't realized their Mistake?

Should we forgive someone, if they accept their mistake and ask for forgiveness?

I guess, these questions are sufficient enough to let our beautiful mind to understand the importance of forgiveness and get free from anger and frustration quickly. Everyone of us would have faced a situation where either we were suppose to forgive someone or we expect others to forgive us. 

Let us start from we seeking forgiveness. When we realized we have done some mistake or hurt someone or committed something wrong which is not acceptable. we should first try to clear the mess created by us. We cannot undo what is already happened, so we should give a shot to redo it in a better way to compensate for the mistake we have done. If it was able to rectify our mistake, we would have earned 50% of Forgiveness bu ourselves. But still 50% is remaining. If our mistake is something so wrong that, its effect is kind of irreversible and it is bothering us that because of us such a catastrophic things occurred, then we need to take responsibility for what we have done and we have to forgive ourselves. No Person is bad or wrong by nature, its their inability to react to the critical situations make them choose wrong decision and so the wrong deed. We are no exception, But the good thing is we realized it is wrong and we should make sure we take wise decision from now on and never repeat any such mistakes. Let us be brave to accept our mistake and ask for forgiveness. Rest left to the person who has become the victim of our mistake.

Now comes the major part of forgiving someone, when we are angry and we cannot forget what someone has done and we cannot recover what we lost because of someone else mistake. There are two possibilities about the person who has made a mistake. One they don't even bothered that they have done a mistake and moved on with their Life. We should realize that the hate we feel towards them doesn't harm them by any means. "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for it to kill our enemy." The best revenge against our enemies is to live our life successfully. Revenge never gives Justice. The simple way to destroy our enemy is by making them friend. The Second possibility is they realized their mistake and trying to rectify themselves. If we try to take revenge on them by not forgiving and punishing them to live with the guilt, we are just trying to take revenge. If we forget and give them the chance to redo the things in a better way, they will never do any mistake or wrong not only with us, but also with anybody else. If we think that, How can we forgive someone, who kills somebody intentionally and just say sorry. The person who committed the crime will not get better, instead thinks however the same punishment for killing one person also and n numbers also. so they choose the wrong path again unless they are taken into custody by law. So, lets not compare the things which doesn't fit in the category. If we try to compare someone who blamed us unnecessarily with some killer, it doesn't suit right. Lets keep our discussion to those scenarios we face daily rather than some extreme cases.

When someone is asking for forgiveness and we don't forgive them. That means we are punishing them more just because we got to know they will feel sad as long as we don't forgive. But If they were the first kind of people who doesn't care about their mistake, we couldn't have done anything. By making them suffer and punish them will never give us satisfaction, But the day they realize they have got the punishment they deserve, they will stop asking for forgiveness and that makes we deserved the wrong thing they did to us. Its better to forgive and forget the negative things. Instead By looking at the learning we have learned from others mistake, the strength we gained by facing the negative scenario. We can easily forgive them. If we don't forgive, we keep living in the past. When we forgive people and get along, we live in the present.

Please forgive me, if any of my writings hurt anyone's feelings.

And Lets forgive those who cannot understand and think wise in critical situations.

Feel free to let me know if you have any comments

CHANCE to CHOICE

"Take a chance and give a chance to increase your choices"
~ANIL K N

We know Success is by choice, not by chance. 

How can we choose the Success over failures?
Just increase the choices.
How can we have more choices?
Just by taking more chances.
How can we motivate ourselves to take more chances?
Just by giving more chances.
If "Sachin Tendulkar" was not taken a chance to play Cricket over formal education, He wouldn't have got as many choices from Cricketer to Member of Parliament.
If "Shahrukh Khan" was not given a chance in Bollywood, No one would have seen such a multilevel celebrity venturing into so many fields with so many choices.
These two legends were way beyond comparison, but still every successful people has taken a chance and given a chance by someone to increase their choices.

Lets talk about a simple example, some of you might have experienced a similar kind of thing in your Life.
I was doing a small project with one of my friend. We just had a problem statement in our mind, so we wanted to design a solution for that. Before starting itself, we have got more questions about everything else apart from actual Project like
What if it doesn't work?
What if its already done by someone else?
What if its considered as repetitive design?
What if it leads to more expenses?
More and more what if's?
But, We have taken a chance to go for it. I went to market and bought all the necessary raw materials.We worked till late night, It worked for a minute and stopped working. It was a kind of disappointment for that span of time. We didn't knew the reason why it is not working. We doubted on the design itself and thought we might redo the entire design again. But we gave a chance to our first design itself. We decided to debug carefully and we found the bug, solved the issue, design worked. Now The doors has opened for many Choices. The reason for which we thought of designing has fulfilled, but also gave many more ways to expand the design for different requirements.
Taking a chance and Giving a chance will definitely increase our choices in Education, Career, Business, Relationship, everywhere in Life. When we have more choices in our Life, we will get a chance to choose the best for us. We know what is Best for us, We can choose only from the choices we have.

A Person who never had a chance to see a foreign land will always try to convince himself that Whatever he got in his Home land is the best.
A Person who had been to a foreign land and never had a choice to come back to His home land, will try to convince himself that Foreign land is the best.
But A person who have a choice to visit a foreign land any time or return to Home land any time will definitely have the best time in all the places and all the choices he make without convincing himself.

When you close all the doors and feeling never gonna let yourself out, you will never know what you would have got if you have ever given a chance or taken a chance. Most of the times Your fear of going things wrong and fear of loosing your reputation stops you from doing what you really wanted to. Trying to maintain the social reputation by avoiding will actually spoil the social reputation.

"Take a Chance just once and Give a chance just once and see the magic of Life."

~ANIL K N

HOPE

Hope the morning is fresh and amazing
Hope every sunrise is soft and energizing
Hope the day begins with lots of wishes
Hope every wish positively nourishes

Hope the morning coffee is tastier
Hope every sip triggers me think better
Hope the breakfast gives me sufficient energy
Hope every joule of energy is in synergy

Hope the blessings of parents comes true again
Hope every blessing leads me towards more & more gain
Hope the first person i meet gives me Smile
Hope every person i meet gets my Smile

Hope the first day of college/work is clever
Hope every friend i make stays with me forever
Hope the challenges faced lets me act strong
Hope every action of mine never goes wrong

Hope the work done is appreciated
Hope every good work is recognized
Hope the efforts are utilized for the people in Reality
Hope every effort contributes to make better society

Hope the fun and laugh with friends stays long
Hope every friend get along
Hope the Friendship is perdurable
Hope every fight results in making friendship invulnerable

Hope the girl i met is the one
Hope everyone believes she is the chosen
Hope the love happens to both of us on its own
Hope every power in the universe makes her meet me soon

Hope the world remains safe
Hope every country is free from strafe
Hope the Hope instills belief
Hope every belief makes you relief

"If you don't have Hope then there is no Hope; No Hope is hopeless ever"
~ANIL K N

It's Never too Late

It has been more than 5 minutes,
You haven't smiled yet,
Still thinking why to Smile?
It's never too late, Smile Now.

It has been more than half an hour,
You haven't fed any positive thought,
Still thinking negative about it?
It's never too late, Think Positive.

It has been more than a hour,
You have put your alarm to snooze,
still you haven't wake up?
It's never too late, wake up now.

It has been couple of hours late to college/work.
Still you wondering to go in or not?
It's never too late, attend class now
or start working now.

It has been more than four hours,
You haven't taken a break,
Still you thinking whether to take break or work?
It's never too late, Take a break now.

It has been more than half a day,
You haven't said Hi to your friend,
Still thinking whether to say or not?
It's  never too late, Say Hi now.

It has been whole day,
You haven't done with your work,
Still worrying what will happen?
It's never too late, finish your work now.

It has been late night,
You haven't spend time with your family,
Still thinking about work?
It's never too late, spend some time with your family now.

It has been over mid night,
You haven't slept yet,
Still thinking about bad things of the day?
It's never too late, Hope for better tomorrow and sleep now.

It has been couple of days,
You haven't talk to your friends,
Still waiting for weekend?
It's never too late, Talk now.

It has been a week,
You haven't gone out anywhere,
Still wishing you went out somewhere?
It's never too late, Move out now.

It has been couple of weeks,
You haven't cleaned your place,
Still not helped mom?
It's never too late, Clean it up now.

It has been more than half a month,
You haven't hang out with your Friends,
Still worrying, who will go so far?
It's never too late, Have some fun now.

It has been a month,
You haven't been to gym/aerobics,
Still planning for next month?
It's never too late, Do some exercise now.

It has been couple of months,
You haven't had a day out with your family,
Still thinking, where to go?
It's never too late, Have a day out to movie now.

It has been a quarter of the year,
You haven't had time for yourself,
Still worrying, you are busy?
It's never too late, Go for a long drive now.

It has been half a year,
You haven't realized your expenses,
Still having trouble managing finances?
It's never too late, start filling excel sheet about all transactions now.

It has been more than 3 quarters,
You haven't sure what you are doing,
Still no idea about your career?
It's never too late, polish your Dreams now.

It has been a year,
You haven't done anything about your Dreams,
Still dreaming about it?
It's never too late, start working towards it.

It has been more than a year,
You haven't called your Friends,
Still waiting for them to call first?
It's never too late, Call now.

It has been a couple of years,
You haven't met your relatives,
Still looking for a big ocassion?
It's never too late, surprise them now.

It has been a long time,
You fought with someone and
Still Not talking to each other?
It's never too late, Forget, Forgive & be Friends now.

"As long as you take the action now, It's never too late"
~Anil K N

My Daughter

The day you were born, I came running to see you. I was scared to hold you in my hands; you were so soft and delicate. When I took you into my hands with tons of care, I felt like carrying my whole world in my Hands and decided to give you all the Happiness in the Universe. Your eyes were closed & started crying, I wanted to tell you that don’t worry my child you are in the safest hands in the entire world.

When you smiled looking at me as soon as I am home, I killed all my tiredness and I got tremendous energy to play with you all night. When you fell asleep on my shoulders, I didn’t want to put you on the bed, I just wanted you sleeping peacefully whole night. When you got scared of bad Dreams and hold my shirt as tight as you can, I wanted to come inside your Dream and thrash that scary thing which is threatening you, but I couldn’t so I decided to tell you only good stories that keep you free from bad Dreams and have a sweet Sleep.

When you stood up for the first time holding my finger and started to run with a big laugh, I knew you wanted to grow up faster and learn everything. But I had a fear of you getting hurt. I just wanted to make sure; you learn everything without any trouble. You are my Beautiful princess and always tried to let you live like the princess.

When you learn to speak and every word you said with your cute little voice was sweeter than honey. Every time you say a new word, it was celebration time for me. You are my angel, who makes me forget all the pain and makes me happy and Smiling in seconds.

I wanted to buy you everything before even you ask for it; I guess most of the times I am able to get it. When you ask for something I didn’t buy in time, I wished I had magical powers to get you in seconds. You are the most beautiful girl, who accepted all my gifts and liked whole heartedly everything I bought for you without complaining.

When you were afraid of going to school, I wanted to come and sit next to you inside the school, But, I wanted to enjoy your School Life with new friends and people around you. I always had all the time in the world to listen to you telling me what you learnt and what you did.

When you wanted to go out with your friends, play and have fun, I was hoping, everyone around you takes care of you. Every minute you are out there, I wanted to create a powerful shield around you that can protect you all the time. I was praying you choose the right friends, who are there for you, when I am not around.

When you want to stay out overnight, I was worried that will my Barbie doll get all the facilities to sleep comfortably. When you say, I am not a kid anymore and I can take care of myself, I use to hear like don’t stay so far that, you couldn’t hear my voice, when I call you. Whenever you are out, I was looking at my phone for every 5 minutes, thinking you might call me anytime.

When you wanted to marry the guy whom you love, I just wanted to make sure that he loves you more than me. I always wished you marry someone who takes care of you better than me. When you had your own baby, I was worried, how will my dear little baby take care of another small baby. But you are an amazing sweetheart. You exceeded my expectations in everything by miles. You are my Happiness, Even now when you smile, I get tons of energy.

Keep Smiling My dear lovely daughter

Emotion-Thoughts Equivalence

If Energy-Mass Equivalence from Einstein’s Theory of Relativity is to be used to understand the functioning of Brain, I have a very simple analogy to emphasize on the enormous Strength of our Brain.

In Energy-Mass Equivalence, E = MC²: E = Energy, M = Mass of an object and C = Speed of Light.

How can we relate this to the power of our Brain?

What is M and C in Brain?

Is it Mind Control?

Awesome thoughts to do some Brainstorming, Isn’t it?

Let me explain with an example, Consider a 5 years old kid is made to listen to a song of a foreign language, which he doesn’t know for several times, The kid will be able to pick up the lyrics, tune,  memorize and even sing. Some of few might have witnesses this from the kids around. In this case, M is number of times the kid has listened to the song. And C is the number of times kid tried singing even though it doesn’t know what it is?

Let us consider one more example, Recall yourself attended any VIVA/Oral Exams, where you have asked series of questions about some of your subjects or labs. I know most of the times you are not exactly prepared for it, but still you were able to impress the Evaluator and pass the Exam. In this case, M is a few amount of information you have studied or heard or remembered. C is the speed at which you respond to the questions.

We will see one more last example, If you were given 5 minutes time to genuinely think of all the negative qualities of a person about whom you know for a while, How many can you come up with? And again If you were given same 5 minutes to genuinely think of all the positive qualities of the same person, How many can you list down? Each one can have different numbers.

But the point I wanted to convey here is the Feelings/Emotions felt while listing down positive and Negative Qualities are entirely different right? Here, E is the Emotion that leads to the Energy inturn leads to the Excitement which leads to the Enthusiasm to act positive or Negative.

In General, E = Emotion, M = Amount of Information you know, C = Speed of your thoughts

“The Emotions you feel is related to the amount of information you feed and the rate at which you think about it”.

So, when you feed positive information/knowledge/ideas and think about those more frequently, your Emotions will be more positive that leads you to take positive actions.

Successful people allow themselves to know more & more positive information’s about what they want to achieve and think at the faster rate, so that they can implement, execute and achieve even before common man thinks about it.

You're the Inspiration

You know my Friendship is meant to be

The kind of Friendship that lasts forever

And i want you to be with me

from now, until the end of the time

You should know, everywhere i go

you are always on my mind, as a first priority

you are the meaning of nice Life

you are the inspiration

you bring positive feelings

I wanna have you here to hear me saying

No one needs you more than i need you

And i know, yes i know that its plain to see

But, You're the inspiration

Infinite Loop of Newton's Third Law

We all know, What is Newton's Third Law.
Yes you are Right, "For Every Action, There will be an equal and opposite Reaction"

But, The Reaction will be another Action, Which will have a another Reaction again, like Re-ReAction.
But, this Re-ReAction is not same as the original Action.
According to Law of Conservation of Energy, The amount of intensity and Energy will be equal for the loop of Action and Reactions, But they are not the same and cannot go back in time change the original Action or reverse the original Action.

In our Life as well, We will face various Reactions from people for every Action of us and we React to other people's Action. Have you noticed, Will it end after Reaction?
Re-ReAction keeps happening and No matter How many loops are done, the original Action cannot be undone.


Have you ever noticed, for one action you did long back, still you are experiencing its reaction, if not directly, indirectly like Action-Reaction loop?

 When there is some argument, counter argument will be the reaction and that never leads to conclusion, instead, it goes to an infinite loop of various action and Reactions.
When there is some blame, the reaction will be some explanation that leads to some justification that leads to some friction, which keeps on running in different forms.
When there is some fight, some revenge will be the reaction and again revenge to the revenge.
When there is some rejection, some frustration happens that leads to irritation and to argument and retry. Even if you find an acceptation on the path, It doesn't undo the initial rejection.


So, Can we find a break or exit from this infinite loop? Well, Instead of trying to run away from a problem or hiding yourself from the problem, By facing the problem and adapting to the circumstances can change the negative impacts of the above situations into positive and pleasant experiences.


Since, this loop keeps running forever, Why not convert this Action-Reaction into Synced Action which means, the purpose of both Action and Reaction gets served and nullify over there itself. Suppose An Action of Scolding is to teach someone a Lesson, The Reaction will be for Scolding, either justification or Apologizing or realization or getting Angry. For every Reaction, the Re-Reaction varies like argument or showing the proof or initiating the fight. If not, simultaneously, All of the above will be keep happening in the loop. So to get into synced Action like lesson should be taught and realization should be more focused by forgetting and eliminating other action and Reactions.

Whenever you find yourself in such kind of loop, figure out what exactly was the purpose to still keeping the loop active with such a high frequency. If possible, execute more loops faster till it gets stabilized, so that the frequency of loop can become very long. Example: Suppose, You need to get some work done by someone. You took a easiest approach and things didn't go well and you are in a kind of loop where, work is not getting done. Focus on getting work done rather than arguing on the approaches. Eliminate discussing about Action and Reactions, talk about Getting Work done, what all needed for the work to be completed and How it can be done. Speed up this loop, till things get stabilized and smooths out. Then the Work will get done quickly and easily, The Action- Reaction loop would have changed into positive Actions of Appreciation and Thanking.