You need to have Memory before you can Forget

Most of the times, we will forget what we are suppose to remember and we won't forget what we are suppose to forget. There is a saying that "Forgetting things is a boon to people, so that people can forget all the bad memories and move on with the Life" When we forget things which we are suppose to remember, we feel bad that our memory is not strong enough and wonder how did we forget such a small thing. When we cannot forget something which is bothering, we feel bad that why our memory is so strong and worry why can't we forget?

Now the question is How to avoid forgetting things which we are suppose to remember? and How to forget things which are troubling us? 

First of all, we are clear what not to forget? like buying few things to home, paying the bills before last date, clearing the debts in time, filling the fuel to the vehicle before it stops in the middle of the street, completing the assignment, most importantly working towards our dream/goal/success. Everyone one of us have dreams and the ability to achieve it, but we forget to remind ourselves that we need to work towards it to accomplish.

We are also clear what to forget? like bad incidents, fights, failures, Relationship issues, Anger, Revenge, Fear. Everyone of us deserves a happy life to enjoy the present moment by forgetting past sorrows, but we keep reminding ourselves about those incidents.

Rather than finding out How? to overcome? If we are able to answer why? we can find out How? very easily. This is the common principle works everywhere, but we forget to apply. Lets make use of this without forgetting.

Lets find out why not to forget few things? 

because if we forget,

1. It will cost us.

2. It might hurt someone.

3. It lead us to do double work.

4. It adds up unnecessary pressure.

5. It will affect our regular routine.

so, it is important to remember.

Lets find out why to forget few things?

because

1. we cannot live in present.

2. we cannot focus on work.

3. we cannot enjoy current happiness.

4. we cannot give time to others and ourselves as well.

5. we won't move forward in Life.

so, it is important to forget those which stops us from growing.

Before forgetting something, we should have some memory about it to forget right? How can we store something into our memory? By providing input to our mind regarding something. The problem in things which we forget, we don't feed those inputs into our memory, because of the least priority or still there is no deadline. It just takes a couple of thoughts to feed into our memory. But we won''t do that, instead we just sense that something has to be done. something like a video camera running without memory card inside to store. 

If we just follow a simple two step procedure 

1. Give attention to detail

2. provide the input to mind, just by thinking once what has to be done.

in everything we do, we will get impressed by ourselves in no time.

A simple example will be How many times we forget the names of the new people we meet?

If we just give our attention, while they are telling their name and recalling their name and thinking about it, we won't forget their name at least for few weeks.

How to forget? is more complex than how to remember? Because the things which we are suppose to forget are nothing but the memories which are repetitively occurred and reinforced over time and again. These memories are something stored in hundreds of memory card with multiple backups. Now we erase one memory block, there exists a backup of it. Our mind has an infinite memory space with an enable option to activate those. Our mind doesn't forget things so easily, it is very complex and time consuming, but we can deactivate those memories by putting a wall around it. That means, we don't forget completely, its just we do not recall it. Remembering to forget something will actually create a backup of the memory one more time that we have to forget that. Instead if we don't force ourselves in forgetting and redo the different things in the same space, there are more chances of overriding the memories which we want to forget.

A simple example will be the school life or college life, we would have gone to school/college everyday and interact with same set of people repetitively that would have created huge set of backups. But when we replace our school life with college life and college with work life, we will be doing the different set of activities daily repetitively i.e. in the same space. which slowly builds a wall over old set of memories and create a new set of memories. This leads us to forget the things smoothly and live in the present.

"No need to forget old memories irrespective of whether its good or bad, instead create a new set of memories with time; which gives us enough option to choose the memories which makes us happy any time"

~ANIL K N

CHANCE to CHOICE

"Take a chance and give a chance to increase your choices"
~ANIL K N

We know Success is by choice, not by chance. 

How can we choose the Success over failures?
Just increase the choices.
How can we have more choices?
Just by taking more chances.
How can we motivate ourselves to take more chances?
Just by giving more chances.
If "Sachin Tendulkar" was not taken a chance to play Cricket over formal education, He wouldn't have got as many choices from Cricketer to Member of Parliament.
If "Shahrukh Khan" was not given a chance in Bollywood, No one would have seen such a multilevel celebrity venturing into so many fields with so many choices.
These two legends were way beyond comparison, but still every successful people has taken a chance and given a chance by someone to increase their choices.

Lets talk about a simple example, some of you might have experienced a similar kind of thing in your Life.
I was doing a small project with one of my friend. We just had a problem statement in our mind, so we wanted to design a solution for that. Before starting itself, we have got more questions about everything else apart from actual Project like
What if it doesn't work?
What if its already done by someone else?
What if its considered as repetitive design?
What if it leads to more expenses?
More and more what if's?
But, We have taken a chance to go for it. I went to market and bought all the necessary raw materials.We worked till late night, It worked for a minute and stopped working. It was a kind of disappointment for that span of time. We didn't knew the reason why it is not working. We doubted on the design itself and thought we might redo the entire design again. But we gave a chance to our first design itself. We decided to debug carefully and we found the bug, solved the issue, design worked. Now The doors has opened for many Choices. The reason for which we thought of designing has fulfilled, but also gave many more ways to expand the design for different requirements.
Taking a chance and Giving a chance will definitely increase our choices in Education, Career, Business, Relationship, everywhere in Life. When we have more choices in our Life, we will get a chance to choose the best for us. We know what is Best for us, We can choose only from the choices we have.

A Person who never had a chance to see a foreign land will always try to convince himself that Whatever he got in his Home land is the best.
A Person who had been to a foreign land and never had a choice to come back to His home land, will try to convince himself that Foreign land is the best.
But A person who have a choice to visit a foreign land any time or return to Home land any time will definitely have the best time in all the places and all the choices he make without convincing himself.

When you close all the doors and feeling never gonna let yourself out, you will never know what you would have got if you have ever given a chance or taken a chance. Most of the times Your fear of going things wrong and fear of loosing your reputation stops you from doing what you really wanted to. Trying to maintain the social reputation by avoiding will actually spoil the social reputation.

"Take a Chance just once and Give a chance just once and see the magic of Life."

~ANIL K N

You're the Inspiration

You know my Friendship is meant to be

The kind of Friendship that lasts forever

And i want you to be with me

from now, until the end of the time

You should know, everywhere i go

you are always on my mind, as a first priority

you are the meaning of nice Life

you are the inspiration

you bring positive feelings

I wanna have you here to hear me saying

No one needs you more than i need you

And i know, yes i know that its plain to see

But, You're the inspiration

Truth

Once a small boy was lying, His mom told him, "If you lie, your ears and Nose will grow big and you will become like a Fox" then he stopped lying forever and always told the Truth through out his Life even though He has to suffer a lot of pain for some of the crucial Truths in the critical situations.
After facing the real world filled with lies, He was treated as an Alien in the World of Lies. He use to wonder for sometime, How come no one turned into the Fox?
His belief on his mother words are so strong, He never doubted on his Trust for his mother.
After a very long time of living Truthful Life irrespective of all the blames, He understood His mother was absolutely right, Those who were Lying has to keep their ears everywhere their Lie traveling, hide their mouth under the nose to lie again to cover the previous lie and live the cunning Life like Fox.
Where as He never has to remember what all the Truth he told so that he can cover later and never has to worry about what people talk about his truth. He just lived True Life of his own choices.

Infinite Loop of Newton's Third Law

We all know, What is Newton's Third Law.
Yes you are Right, "For Every Action, There will be an equal and opposite Reaction"

But, The Reaction will be another Action, Which will have a another Reaction again, like Re-ReAction.
But, this Re-ReAction is not same as the original Action.
According to Law of Conservation of Energy, The amount of intensity and Energy will be equal for the loop of Action and Reactions, But they are not the same and cannot go back in time change the original Action or reverse the original Action.

In our Life as well, We will face various Reactions from people for every Action of us and we React to other people's Action. Have you noticed, Will it end after Reaction?
Re-ReAction keeps happening and No matter How many loops are done, the original Action cannot be undone.


Have you ever noticed, for one action you did long back, still you are experiencing its reaction, if not directly, indirectly like Action-Reaction loop?

 When there is some argument, counter argument will be the reaction and that never leads to conclusion, instead, it goes to an infinite loop of various action and Reactions.
When there is some blame, the reaction will be some explanation that leads to some justification that leads to some friction, which keeps on running in different forms.
When there is some fight, some revenge will be the reaction and again revenge to the revenge.
When there is some rejection, some frustration happens that leads to irritation and to argument and retry. Even if you find an acceptation on the path, It doesn't undo the initial rejection.


So, Can we find a break or exit from this infinite loop? Well, Instead of trying to run away from a problem or hiding yourself from the problem, By facing the problem and adapting to the circumstances can change the negative impacts of the above situations into positive and pleasant experiences.


Since, this loop keeps running forever, Why not convert this Action-Reaction into Synced Action which means, the purpose of both Action and Reaction gets served and nullify over there itself. Suppose An Action of Scolding is to teach someone a Lesson, The Reaction will be for Scolding, either justification or Apologizing or realization or getting Angry. For every Reaction, the Re-Reaction varies like argument or showing the proof or initiating the fight. If not, simultaneously, All of the above will be keep happening in the loop. So to get into synced Action like lesson should be taught and realization should be more focused by forgetting and eliminating other action and Reactions.

Whenever you find yourself in such kind of loop, figure out what exactly was the purpose to still keeping the loop active with such a high frequency. If possible, execute more loops faster till it gets stabilized, so that the frequency of loop can become very long. Example: Suppose, You need to get some work done by someone. You took a easiest approach and things didn't go well and you are in a kind of loop where, work is not getting done. Focus on getting work done rather than arguing on the approaches. Eliminate discussing about Action and Reactions, talk about Getting Work done, what all needed for the work to be completed and How it can be done. Speed up this loop, till things get stabilized and smooths out. Then the Work will get done quickly and easily, The Action- Reaction loop would have changed into positive Actions of Appreciation and Thanking.



 

Its in your Hands

The Title would have been perceived as either our control is in someone's hand or someone's control is in our hand. A very few would have perceived it as our control is in our own hands. I am stating with telling 3 different perceptions of the single statement. There might be many other ways readers would have perceived. I will give my best to let your mind perceive it in the right way and the same way i am trying to convey.

 

One of the readers of my blogs felt a blog of mine helped him in handling one of the real time situation in his life. I was obviously very happy to know my writings was useful to someone. But then I read my own blog many times again and again. Every time i was perceiving it in a different ways based on my emotional and mental state at that moment of time. Even though that blog was trying to convey the same message, the applicability of the same was in numerous. The purpose of reading that blog was to find out how that blog can make someone's mind perceive it in the right way. The answer i got was, it was simple and narrated with an example. But I also learnt lot about perception depending on current state of mind.

 

We may not be responsible for what happens to us and what kind of situations we have to go through, But we are certainly responsible and accountable for the outcomes of the circumstances. we always have the choice whether to stick to it or let it go. Every time we fall short of what we wanted: just by an inch, It means we were just an inch away from what we aspired for. Don't quit, a little push can take us where we want to be and get us what we wanted.

 

The previous statements was very general and it looks like a good set of positive statements. I will come back to my simple way of communicating with an example. Let us consider, we don't like someone. Most of the times we don't know the reason, but still we feel like irritated and frustrated by that person. I have heard many people saying i get furious by hearing that person's name only. When i ask for reason, they don't have a valid one. The perception of our mind towards that person will be negative by default. We don't like the way they dress, the way they speak, their life style, their behavior, basically everything they do. The funnier part will be most of the time we would never communicated with that person. Its just kind of false feelings controlling our mind.

 

Next time when  you come across such situation, try to figure out the exact reason why is it so? Don't just conclude by saying my wish. List out the reasons why is it so? and validate how many of them are actually true and How many of we just wrote to justify our feeling is correct? Now try to point out a positive point of every reason you listed out. The perceptions in our mind will be fighting to prove which one is right!

 

This was just an example of How disliking someone was in our hands even though we don't know anything about them. Similarly, when we like someone, we will justify ourselves with hundreds of positive reasons to prove our feelings are genuine and if it is special someone, then we will fight and defend them in front of the toughest opposition as well to show the world that our feeling has a reason. Even In this case, the funny part is we wouldn't have know that person personally. We perceive them as the best and compare with everything else and rate to the top.

 

This two examples  are just to understand the power of our perception towards others. When we replace the other person we don't like or the person we like with our states of mind like giving up attitude or Never give up attitude; working towards success or letting things to work by itself; Speaking brave or keeping quiet like coward; facing the problem or avoiding to face; accepting the responsibility or rejecting to be accountable; Its all in our hands

 

"The Universe is in your hands, you just needs to allow your galaxies to expand to the new horizons and explore the infinite possibilities of taking your Life to new Dimensions."
~ANIL K N